HYPOTHETICAL AMERICAN BEATLES ALBUMS: Revolution #9

Imagine that two different Revolution albums by The Beatles were released by Capitol Records on the same day in November of 1968. How mad would you be if a few weeks later a new triple-album came out… just in time for Christmas. The first two discs, were just the same album you had already spent your good hard-earned money on, but you had to buy them again in order to get the exclusive bonus disc – something titled Revolution #9 and touted all over as the boldest, strangest Beatles album ever.

Imagine how pissed you would be listening to side one, starting with Revolution #9 and ending with Wild Honey Pie. Would you even bother flipping the record over to find the (slightly) more conventional songs on side two (where another song named Honey Pie awaited you first)? Including Ringo’s first songwriting credit? It would be too weird, and you might just feel a bit ripped off. There would be word coming from England that all three albums were trimmed down to a 2-disc set that made a lot more sense in context and as a whole than the disparate pieces of vinyl you now had in your hands. Copies of the box set, or at least just the unloved forgotten third disc would fill thrift stores for years until a reappraisal of the Avant Garde, “difficult” album of the Beatles begins to turn its reputation around some decades after its release.

Still Dave Dexter Jr would be praised in the halls of Capitol as a genius for pulling off such a daring marketing ploy. While many others had tried to turn the quote-unquote White Album into one record, he had managed to turn it into three – and thereby tripled their profits. Of all the songs he had access to, there was only one that he couldn’t find a place for – the lush ballad sung by Ringo, Good Night. It was too lush for Revolution #1 but it was way too soft for Revolution #2. He tried putting it on this record since everything was a hodge-podge, but it felt too sincere – so he ended up swapping it out for an outtake from the Sgt. Pepper’s & Friends days: You Know My Name (Look Up The Number). Dave Dexter Jr, had a feeling – a premonition if you will – that he would need and overly-orchestrated finale once the band finally and completely did break-up. Rumors from the UK were the band were fighting whilst making these records. Dave probably figured it might be handy to have a song such as this in his back pocket. But first he was going to have to assemble the Beatles next soundtrack album.